7 Rules: Scratching your bum-bum in public for dummies

Never scratch your bum-bum in public, but if you must:

1. Canvas the area for aliens and busy-bodies.
2. Canvas again, you can never be too careful.
3. Form the number 4 with your left hand.
4. Put it in your back pocket.
5. Fold your hand as if to make a fist.
6. Repeat step 5 with haste as many times as it's needed.
7. Save yourself the embarrassment; don't check to see if you have been caught.

Have a nice life.

Ps, if you don't have a back pocket on your trousers/skirt/shorts, sorry, and if the itch is rectally situated, these rules are not for you.

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